Full of Grace (9)

April 17

“Mary.”

Lost in her thoughts, Mary doesn’t hear her mother calling her. She is…tired. Or weary. Or just frustrated. It’s been three days and she still hasn’t found the right words to communicate with her parents. Every time she tries, her stomach twists into knots and her heart beats loudly…like she’s guilty.

“Mary.”

But she’s done nothing wrong, so why does she feel this way? Because her parents don’t believe her. And perhaps they have reason not to…G-d had been silent for so long; why would he choose to speak now? To her of all people? Mary has no answer for that, but she is grateful. G-d had chose her and honored her. He had given her a purpose, her and Joseph, and together they would raise the child and he would deliver his people from their Roman masters.

“Mary, pray,” Anna states, with exasperation.

Mary realizes she hasn’t heard a word her mother has said. She and her sisters glare at her. Mary is supposed to be praying. Right. She drops her gaze, thinking about the words she ought to be praying – I am available to you, G-d, that I might be the mother of your mashiac. But she already was the mother of G-d’s mashiac. Or she would be in eight months. So what is she supposed to say?

“Mary, what’s wrong?” Anna asks. “You’ve been acting strange for days; now you’re not praying?”

Mary looks up at her mother, who gazes at her with concerned eyes. She was more transparent than she thought. Still the words fail her. Her stomach twists into the ever familiar knots and her heart beats loudly within her chest. She sighs.

“I’m sorry, Imma,” Mary says. She drops her gaze again and clears her throat. “G-d, I am available to you” – does she say what she always says? Or does she tell her mother what she doesn’t want to hear? Her heart races – “I am available to you, and I thank you for choosing me to be the mother of your mashiac.”

* * *

To start reading Full of Grace from the beginning, click here.  

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