Full of Grace (48)

And the story continues…

 

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* * *

Struggling to find a comfortable stop, Mary rolls over to her other side. The position is slightly better, but not by much and certainly not with the child moving around within her. It seemed lately as if he had his days and nights mixed up. This provided for relative peace during the day, but when the evening came, she had trouble eating, had to constantly relieve herself and now, couldn’t get sufficient rest – all because he was constantly moving around. Still, even as she thinks about it, she marvels at the changes her body had gone through to accommodate the child, the boy, the mashiac. And soon, real soon, she would be holding the fruits of those changes. She would be a mother and Joseph a father.

In the moonlight, Mary can see Joseph’s body outlined on the floor, where he had chosen to sleep since the night of their nissuin. Even with some bedding and several blankets, it had to be uncomfortable, but Joseph respected her wishes to wait. Mary was often humble by that, knowing he was a good man. She could wonder why G-d chose her, but it was obvious why Joseph was chosen.

Which made it even harder to talk to him. She had tried to do so that first night after her mother admonished her to share her concerns with him, but the words never came. Then Miriam spent the next evening “attentive” to her son. And with Mary turning in early almost every night, it was close to impossible getting Joseph by himself.

But Mary knows those are just excuses. She had G-d’s grace; she ought to utilize it. There were times she didn’t think she would survive the harshness of this season, but she was still here. And G-d had surrounded her with people who cared for her: her parents, her dod and doda and now Joseph. Despite her situation, she had to talk to him.

Mary lets out a soft sigh.

Soon…she would talk to him soon.

* * *

Joseph hears Mary sigh and envies her. Not exactly the right response as her husband, but she seemed to be able to rest despite the harshness of the season…something Joseph can’t do. Despite volunteering to sleep on the floor and insisting he was fine with it, Joseph’s back is telling him this was a bad idea. Mary was his wife after all. He should be sleeping with her.

But he can’t.

But I should, he thinks to himself. Grateful to have a father-in-law as wise and as caring as Heli, he reflects on the conversation they had only a few days earlier. Joseph knows the words are truth, but he can’t get past his feelings.

Mary needs you.

Only to protect her from being stoned to death.

No, she wants you as much as you want her.

But she’s with child by G-d.

She’s the same Mary she was before. And she waited for you.

But she’s carrying the Mashiac and you’re to be the savior’s father.

Joseph sighs and rolls over on his other side. His back hurts less this way – at least for the time being. He knows he needs to talk to Mary, it’s the only way he’s going to get any peace; but with his mother consuming his time at home and Mary turning in early due to the strains of her pregnancy…

I’ll talk to her soon, he promises himself. Soon. 

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